Within any relationship communication is key. Communication (in Webster’s words) is the activity of conveying information through the exchange of ideas, feelings, intentions, attitudes, expectations, perceptions or commands, as by speech, gestures, writings, behavior and possibly by other means such as electromagnetic, chemical or physical phenomena. It is the meaningful exchange of information between two or more participants. Which in a sum of words……keeps the wheels between each other turning.
While during an argument or disagreement……the other person is wrong, this validates the reason that you are arguing/ disagreeing in the first place. So that is the first thing established. The second thing that is obviously established is……..there is a need to let you know why I’m right!……………That my dear is where we all go wrong. The tone sometimes changes and an escalation of the voice might occur and then ready.. set… go……let’s get ready to RUMBLE.
But seriously, we need to find the breakdown within communication. Start asking yourself some questions:
- Did I actually make myself clear?
- Do I actually disagree or am I looking for something to argue about?
- Can I just agree to disagree?
- How could I have avoided this argument/ disagreement?
- Could I have found the answer before asking the question?
- How could I have said this in a better way?
- Would I have said it this way to someone else?
I’m not a relationship counselor or guru……but I am a pro at arguments and I can agree that sometimes we don’t try to avoid situations before they start. Being the bigger person can be rough but if it will ‘kill the cat’ then so be it. Everything is not worth arguing over and sometimes petty arguments can be the exterior of a bigger issue that we are looking to find outlets for. There are a thousand more questions that we can ask before we give a rebuttal to what was said. But evaluation of our statements, questions and yes…… responses is needed before it escape our lips. We cannot take back things once they are said and we have a hard time trying to cover the sour punch with sugar. But if I can provide you any advice within your relationships…..please exercise healthy communication. Especially when there are children involved. But that is another post for another day……lol.
Remember positive communications a day………keeps the divorce papers away!
THE VILLAGE 
This is great advice; especially the dot points. From my experience, a marriage without argument or disagreement is unhealthy. Both parties are obviously shutting up and not getting their grievances out there. Couples need to communicate and sometimes that means disagreeing. As long as you both attack the issue or behavior, rather than each other; it’s healthy. As you said, once you’ve said it, you can’t take it back.
Thank you so much. I defiantly have experience in disagreements and arguments and it makes such a big difference when you have effective communication.
Reblogged this on free life coaching blog and commented:
This article is great advice for couples, about arguing. Communication comes in all forms and that includes disagreements. Remember to discuss the issue or behavior and don’t make it personal. You may love the person, but really don’t like the behavior.